Phil Baki tries to make sense of the USL Championship weekend that was. Let’s get our bearings and clean ourselves up, this is the Championship Hangover.

Another absolutely chaotic weekend for USL Championship played out. The weekend started with a crazy 3-3 draw in Tulsa, then there was the first ever regular season match on CBS lived up to the hype in Lousiville, and there was another crazy rivalry game in Albuquerque between New Mexico and El Paso which your author is still recovering from. Let’s dive in and see what we can gather from these matches in USL.

FC Tulsa 3-3 Phoenix Rising

The weekend began how it meant to go on with a breathless draw in Tulsa where the hosts pulled back a game that threatened to get away from them against Phoenix. Tulsa will be able to take a lot of heart in the fact that they created a whole lot and were a bit unlucky to not come away with more. Alex Dalou had a fantastic run and no-look assist for Stefan Stojanovic’s opener inside the first minute and it could have got worse for Phoenix as they got put under immense pressure in the first half hour. Tulsa will definitely look back on the chances they had early as a missed opportunity to put this one to bed. After going 2-1 behind though Tulsa found a way with Edwin Laszo and Alexis Souahy both scoring from Justin Portillo corner deliveries to give them the lead. The Mario Sanchez offense was essentially just missing a Phillip Goodrum to be able to exploit the opportunities fashioned by Dalou, Portillo, Patrick Seagrist, Blaine Ferri and Arthur Rogers. Tulsa also give away a couple pens and a relatively soft goal so questions have to be asked defensively as they concede on all three of Phoenix’s shots on target.

🥶 That is 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃, @DarekFormella10! @PHXRisingFC ties this match up again! pic.twitter.com/tFw4JntkJh
— USL Championship (@USLChampionship) April 6, 2024

For Phoenix, this was an exercise in resilience and one I have to say they passed. No one will come away from this one with more confidence than Remi Cabral. He’s been desperate to get going in red and it feels like he may have just found the recipe for being dangerous for Rising. He earns and scores the first penalty for Rising, showing the type of inside-out running in behind that can be such a problem for opponents to deal with. He rode that confidence with a cool finish having ghosted into a bit of space in front of Bradley Bourgeois and it does look like he will be a bit of a streaky forward. I was surprised he did not take the deciding pen given he was on a hat trick but it was hard to argue with Dariusz Formella’s panenka finish. Despite the point on the road, I still have broad concerns about Danny Stone’s Phoenix. Juan Azocar, Edgardo Rito, Giulio Doratiotto and Emil Cuello (who also got sent off for one of the maddest challenges you’re likely to see this season) were absolutely MIA in this one. It was the Armenakas show once again in attacking midfield but Phoenix absolutely have to figure out how to get their midfield to work the way it’s meant to if they want to get consistent results out West.

Detroit City 1-0 North Carolina

Tim Robinson of I Think You Should Leave was present for Detroit City’s 1-0 win over North Carolina and I can safely say there hasn’t been a celebrity cameo at a USL match that impacted me more than this one. I could spend the next 10000 words on the Driving Crooner or calicocutpants.com but instead I’ll talk about the soccer.

There’s something very special going on at Danny Dichio’s Detroit City. Now five games does not make a season but in each game that they’ve played, Detroit has looked more and more of an evolution of the team that Trevor James established in the USL Championship. Last time we spoke about how functional Ali Coote made the team, this week we got to see how the wingbacks got involved. Rhys Williams forced the Nelson Blanco own goal but it was the speed with which they were able to turn defense into attack, coupled with a powerful run from Williams that made the opener possible. Don’t get me wrong, there were a few moments where it looked like Detroit might let this slip but the fact that they don’t almost lends more credence to their performances. They are not a perfect team but they are absolutely a TEAM and at this point in the season it is making a huge difference. The fact that James Murphy wins man of the match is also such a credit to a fanbase that (whether you like them or not) knows ball.

North Carolina FC are not lighting the USL Championship on fire since returning but they are giving their opponents absolute fits. They can definitely count themselves unlucky to have not gotten at least a point in one of the toughest away days in the League. They outshot Detroit two to one, but they are having trouble getting their difference makers involved as heavily as they were last year in USL1. Oalex Anderson was only able to create two chances and have one shot of his own, a testament to a Detroit backline that was putting in the hard yards to prevent just those stats from accumulating. Rodrigo Da Costa had just one shot on target and was not able to exert his influence on the game to the extent he would have wanted. Things look fantastic at the back for NCFC and they will be a tough out for any opposition but they have to get their forwards firing at some point to be in the playoff picture.

Hartford Athletic 3-2 Miami

I thought ahead of this one that defensive Miami would limit a wasteful Hartford Athletic. It did not really play out that way.

Hartford Athletic are like a sports car with an electric engine. They are exciting as hell but they are powered sustainably. The attack of Romario Williams, Deshane Beckford, Marcus Epps and Michee Ngalina is only possible because Jay Chapman and Anderson Asiedu are supplying them with the ability to go forward with little worry. They had 22 shots when all was said and done but this Hartford side had trouble getting going in earnest in terms of creating genuinely dangerous chances. Beckford got Hartford going on the break and Williams was able to add a second 10 minutes after half time, converting from a flicked-on corner kick. This team approach also led to a break and the third and decisive goal from Enoch Mushagalusa. This also led to my most intense parasocial relationship of the weekend, the lady who copied Mushagalusa’s waddling duck celebration in the corner of Hartford’s ground. That said, Miami did create quite a bit and unfortunately as the season goes on I think there will be continued questions about this defense. Thomas Vancaeyzeele and Joey Farrell have been ok but they have looked vulnerable in every single match they’ve played. Hartford have had the tendency to sit back after they feel they’ve done enough to win the match and they look incredibly vulnerable during this time. Despite the good start, will the attack be enough to sustain a leaky defense? Time will tell.

Miami FC is such a strange entity. They definitely aren’t a strong side on paper but if you had to make an argument about which manager is extracting the most performance out of his side, you’d have a hard time arguing against Antonio Nocerino. There are no moral victories and the reality is that Miami don’t do enough to beat Hartford but I have yet to see the levels of meme from this Miami side that last years Loudoun and Vegas were capable of. Gabriel Cabral is a baller and I think we will see more of him from the start as this season goes on. There is a slice of luck about Miami’s second goal as Vancaeyzeele boots a clearance off Farrell and into the net but Miami still managed to fashion 15 shots of their own without the extra help. It is difficult to categorize this Miami team given that they will struggle to win a lot of games, but given the roster, I think you still have to give a lot of credit for just how competitive Nocerino is keeping this team. They understand exactly what they are and how they can get the most from the fixture in front of them. It looked like they stood no chance in Hartford and yet they stayed in it until the final whistle.

Lou City 5-3 Indy Eleven

Indisputably the most anticipated match of the weekend, Lou City took down Indy Eleven in what will be a Louisville-Indianapolis Proximity Association Football Contest for the ages. The fact it went down on NETWORK TELEVISION just highlighted what was a brilliant rivalry game that had something for everyone, even Jack Harlow.

I’ll keep this short because of the amount of discourse but holy moly are Lou City a good soccer team. Wilson Harris rightly grabbed the headlines with a hat trick on f***ing national TV but Ray Serrano is just that dude now. 21 years old, he has to be one of the best young attacking talents in the League at the moment and he was a full back at Tacoma Defiance. Danny Cruz has absolutely unlocked the kid, who added two assists to his tally of six goal contributions through Louisiville’s first four matches. The engine room at Louisville ain’t half bad either, with Taylor Davila (23) and Elijah Wynder (21) too young to be this good as a pair in midfield. That said, even a Louisville team this good is not immune to Proximity Contest Shenanigans and Jack Blake was determined to keep the scoreline respectable given they were in public. It is going to take something extremely special to stop this Lou City side and so far I have not seen the team that will do it. Can you believe I’ve glossed over a hat trick to this extent? Unbelievable.

Indy Eleven could be described as “also on CBS this past weekend”

I kid but the reality is they were lucky to hang around in this one. They got outshot 20-7, Lou City fashioned six big chances and a whopping 16 of their 20 shots came from inside the area. The only thing for Indy to hang their hat on is that Jack Blake participated in the match. This all might seem harsh but the scoreline flattered to deceive. I’ve been quite complimentary of Sean McAuley and Jack Blake’s second goal is evidence of what Indy will try to do. The tough part is that the better teams in the League can take them apart too easily for any of that to stand up. They had a couple of false dawns and half chances but Lou had their way with them and the other teams at the top of the West feel too good for Indy to hang with.

Memphis 901 0-2 Orange County

This won’t be overly controversial but Memphis have a finishing problem. Of the 12 shots they had at home to Orange County, just two went on target. Zach Duncan and Bruno Lapa were very active but they left some brilliant chances on the table and they are going to continue to be susceptible to this type of performance as long as they struggle. In this three match losing streak, they’ve fashioned just eight shots on target and scored a single goal. Lapa and Neco Brett just aren’t getting many looks and when they do they struggle to do much with them. Is it Stephen Glass’ system? Has Kaylor Hodges put some type of Southern Harm curse on former Birmingham players in Memphis? At this point it’s difficult to say but Memphis are desperately looking for a formula that will give them some goals.

If Orange County SC is Walter White than I am Jesse screaming, “HE CAN’T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS,” into the sky. They are yet to lose so far this season while averaging less than eight shots a game.They’ve only taken fifteen shots on target this season and they’ve scored NINE of them. That’s a 60% conversion rate for those keeping track at home. And yet, they do keep getting away with it. I am putting this largely down to the unreal form of Colin Shutler and a midfield that just don’t quit. Sofiane Djeffal, Kyle Scott and Kevin Partida is a trio sent from paradise as Djeffal has the technique, Partida cleans up and Scott is a perfect blend of the two. Up top, Brian Iloski is seemingly being powered by a sibling rivalry and Thomas Amang is off to a good start, with Cameron Dunbar playing a vital role. Also, love you Andrew Fox, you’re doing great sweetie, I wish you never left Locomo - at this point in the article Phil was hooked off by a comically large shepherd’s crook

Pittsburgh Riverhounds 0-0 Tampa Bay Rowdies

Ugh now I have to talk about two 0-0 draws in a row??? Fine, now that I’m recovering from being hooked I can’t help but share the fact that Pittsburgh Riverhounds may, in fact, be back. They looked so much like themselves at “Oh hi Mark,” Stadium in the Steel City. They outshot Rowdies by almost double and probably should have had all three points if not for some wastefulness in attack. Kazaiah Sterling was attracting all kinds of attention which meant it was Langston Blackstock popping up on the end of a lot of Riverhounds’ attacks. That said, he probably isn’t the preferred choice for that role. Kenardo Forbes, Robbie Mertz and Daniel Griffin felt back to their best in midfield and Griffin played in a cross in particular that elicited an audible reaction from your author that Blackstock should have converted. Once again, it looks like we may have underestimated Bob Lilley and he may just have a wonderful team on his hands yet again. That said, Sterling from the start made it look so much more functional and the threat he poses is doing some lifting.

I didn’t realize it was possible for Manuel Arteaga and Cal Jennings to fail to score in the same match. Could have swore there was a USL bylaw preventing that. Ah, well, nevertheless. Despite being quiet in attack, Tampa still had plenty of bright spots. Blake Bodily and Eddie Munjoma were bright on the flanks and Danny Crisostomo, for the first true time in green and gold, looked so good in midfield. At the moment I’m torn between Rowdies as a team that just fails to get all the goals it needs and Rowdies as a team that functions so well from keeper to attacking midfield. With the finishers available you have to think this is an absolute blip but there does seem to be some issues in buildup. As evidenced against Rhode Island, they are a bit reliant on the long ball and individual mistakes against them to break teams down. If I were a Rowdies fan I would want to see a goal scored from anything but a bouncing ball over the top.

Rhode Island 0-0 Charleston Battery

Plenty of sliding doors moments in this one. The teams fluffed three big chances between them and in general this highlighted just where the questions will be for both sides. I am willing to chalk up a bit of the lack of fluency to the driving rain. Rhode Island was looking downright unpleasant on Saturday night and the attacking football on show was not much better. I still believe implicitly in what both of these teams are doing though. This match just did not highlight what makes them good. Despite some really bright play from Noah Fuson, Rhode Island only got Albert Dikwa one touch in the box. They only took three shots in the box the whole 90+ minutes. Stephen Turnbull got two of them and perhaps was unlucky not to score as he lashed one off the woodwork. All that said, Rhode Island holding Charleston goalless while playing down a man for 20 minutes needs praising too. This was no easy feat and they got the job done for a creditable home point.

For Charleston, they’ll feel it is a missed opportunity in a season that has started with a couple of them. With the exception of the drubbing of New Mexico and sneaking by Miami, Charleston have drawn with North Carolina, Oakland and Rhode Island. This doesn’t make for great reading for a team that was expected to be right up there at the top of the East. The balance up front just doesn’t seem to be there yet. Nick Markanich was brilliant but getting MD Myers, Diego Gutierrez and Juan Torres to click seemed tough. They missed Arturo Rodriguez to be sure as he seems to be the connective tissue in this attack but the rest just feels off. Without a statement result against Lou City on Tuesday, Charleston might be dragged into the scrum in the middle of the Conference.

Colorado Springs Switchbacks 0-2 Sacramento Republic

I wish I had any good news to report for Colorado Springs Switchbacks fans but my word this team has to be the softest touch in the League. Four losses, just a single goal and Phoenix up next, things are looking bleak for CS. This match was not down to Sacramento being a vastly better team but it was down to a gulf in quality in the forwards. Trevor Amann and Russell Cicerone put away their chances while Ronaldo Damus and Maalique Foster managed just three combined shots, two of which were blocked. The only one on target came at 2-0 down and to be honest, despite Sacramento dropping off for large portions of the game, it just never felt like CS would turn it around. There may still be plenty to come here but for now CS are far too easy to play through and don’t offer near enough threat for me to take them seriously.

For Sacramento Amann continues to be an absolute cheat code at forward. Four goals in five games has him only behind Wilson Harris in the scoring charts and that trend will likely continue. Republic didn’t even need to get out of second gear to see off Switchbacks and I don’t think we have seen Sacramento at full power yet. They have done enough to be undefeated but a couple disappointing draws outline just how high the expectations are for them. Having Russell Cicerone, Rodrigo Lopez, Nick Ross, Luis Felipe and Jack Gurr in support of a scoring freak like Amann is genuinely unfair and they will continue to exploit this advantage further as the season goes on.

New Mexico United 3-2 El Paso Locomotive

I’ve been putting this off long enough.

This was one of the most painful football matches I’ve watched in my life.

For New Mexico United, this is the Derby del Camino Real win. The one they will look back on as the season goes to point to the strength and mentality of a side that had seemingly capitulated to their interstate rivals in Texas. I know it’s been talked about but this midfield of Zico Bailey and Marco Micaletto is really something. Micaletto scores a banger for sure but the work they do and how they move the ball is really something to behold. As for the gameplan, Dayonn Harris simply ran down the left-hand side to chase the balls chipped in behind Locomotive fullbacks and it worked a treat. After they seemed to have lost it though, Jacobo Reyes and Nicky Hernandez popped up with the vital goals to turn around the result and the sentiment that NMU will be carrying into the next match against Lubbock Matadors in the US Open Cup.

For Locomotive, I’ll start with the positive. Amando Moreno was more than up for the match against his former club and looked determined to grab his second goal for his new club. The manner of his second goal was far more dramatic than what could have been from his first four attempts. Joaquin Rivas scored with his first-ever touch for Locomotive and combined with the Moreno penalty it seemed like Locomotive was headed to a famous victory. Justin Dhillon in particular shined, working his socks off to get the assist for Rivas’ equalizer and winning Moreno’s pen. Then, as the Locomotive players celebrated in front of The Curse, the NMU supporters’ group, they made a vital mistake. They thought that was game. The switching off was obvious and ultimately fatal. The nature of New Mexico’s two stoppage time goals were so simple that they felt like something that happens on a playground rather than in the dying moments of the match meant to get your season going. Instead of a famous Derby win, instead Locomotive head home pointless, hoping to get their first win of the season in match #6.

Oakland Roots 0-1 Monterey Bay

Listen, this wasn’t exactly a classic for long periods but it is another feather in the cap of Monterey Bay, who just continue to rack up impressive results and managed to grab the late winner once again. On the other side, Oakland showed that they will be tough to take points off of regardless of who is in Town.

Oakland Roots did not do enough in the offseason, that much is clear. I am hoping that next summer’s facility upgrade will bring with it a squad upgrade but that does not mean this is a bad team. They are finding ways to be compact under Noah Delgado which they haven’t been particularly known for. There are a couple of nearly moments for Oakland as Monterey were not perfect defensively and it has to be said that the decision making from Oakland just was not good enough with the final ball or pass. Ultimately, being down Neveal Hackshaw for a second yellow proved fatal but Gagi Margvelashvili and Niall Logue were bright in central defense. Irakoze Donasiyano looks very good in central midfield as well. But Delgado just is not finding the right combination of players up top as Lindo Mfeka lasts only the first half and Trayvone Reid was hooked for Memo Diaz. The Miche-Naider Chery signing has yet to produce any fruit and Johnny Rodriguez has not been firing in the way he was at times last year. As long as these questions last, I fear Oakland will continue to struggle.

Monterey Bay follow a trend of teams this season who made minimal changes in the offseason and are off to a better start than expected. In this match a settled back four seemed to be the biggest difference-maker as they largely limited what Oakland could do. Mobi Fehr is stamping an early claim on being in the discussion for midfielder of the year. Creating the most chances from the least touches in a way that exemplifies his quality and efficiency. MB being able to play this way on the road is something they simply weren’t capable of last year. It has to be said that Tristan Trager, Alex Dixon and Walmer Martinez (who got sent off also) weren’t at their best on the day and they’ll have to put away their chances to stay in the playoff discussion but early signs for Frank Yallop and Co. are good.

Las Vegas Lights 1-0 San Antonio

Las Vegas Lights have won three matches on the bounce. I have had to keep saying that to myself because it just doesn’t sound real. I understand each individual word and yet the sentence just loses its meaning. Shawn Smart grabbed his first professional goal with a decent strike and his journey with Lights might be one of the underrated stories in American soccer right now. That said, I can’t talk about Las Vegas and not talk about JC Ngando. The kid is just different. From holding midfield, he just does so much to advance the ball for Lights. He creates four chances, the most of any player on the field, while recovering possession ten times. The team is functioning. And it is doing so while basically not existing two months ago. Pretty remarkable stuff from Dennis Sanchez.

For San Antonio, they take twelve shots and I swear ten of them happened in the last five minutes of the game plus stoppage time. It was a whole lot of “do something” from SAFC fans who are surely frustrated to not leave Vegas with three points. The biggest thing Vegas did was disrupt two steady performers for SAFC, Luis Silva and Luke Haakenson, who typically do bits out wide. They were harried all match and couldn’t get involved to the extent they typically do. Neither player created a chance and Haakenson managed just two off-target shots. While Jorge Hernandez was typically bright in the #10 position, their inability to stretch Vegas meant that Juan Agudelo and Hugo Mbongue were starved for service and Agudelo ended up dropping deep to receive the ball as a result. It isn’t one to set off the alarms in San Antonio but it might have given teams a blueprint on how to frustrate San Antonio.

Birmingham Legion 3-1 Loudoun United

I’m pretty bitter about this one as Kaylor’s team gets out of meme territory where I still firmly reside as a Locomotive fan. Birmingham weren’t off the charts as a team but they did plenty to show how this 3-4-3 of Tommy Soehn’s can function when it comes together. The biggest difference for me in this one was how proactive the defenders were in stepping up to intercept which gave Birmingham chances on the counter. This approach got the ball to the feet of attackers running toward goal which emphasized the sheer speed on offer. The first goal is borne almost purely from Preston Tabortetaka being rapid and getting his head up in time for Pasher to fullback dive it over the line. Then it was Pasher doing what Pasher does on the second, something that Birmingham haven’t been able to figure out how to get him in positions to do enough. The third goal comes in garbage time but Mujeeb Murana’s finish is very cool and if Birmingham can convert like this they’ll be just fine. That said, scoring three goals from just nine shots isn’t what I’d call sustainable so they will need to find ways to create these situations more often.

For Loudoun, there will be days like this but again I’m not panicking if I’m a fan. They were udon by some really good finishing but I still firmly believe in what this team is capable of. Abdellatif Aboukoura’s goal as evidence of just how much technical ability resides in this Loudoun team and they were very much in this despite not having Kalil ElMedkhar available. Tommy McCabe acquitted himself well but this team did look very vulnerable in transitions and that is where Ryan Martin will need to look for solutions. There might not be an obvious fix apart from cutting out some individual mistakes but that particular vulnerability will be important to eradicate if they want to continue to be taken seriously as a playoff contender.

- Phil Baki