Hopefully everyone had a great holiday last week. Thanksgiving was always one of my favorite holidays as a kid, mostly because it was around my birthday (this year it landed on it) and I love pumpkin pie (more on that later). As I’ve aged, I like how bland Thanksgiving is, without the trappings of religious holidays, which are always complicated for myself. Lately, I’ve heard more push against the holiday by those thinking of the exploitation of indigenous people by the pilgrims. It’s not wrong, but it hasn’t pricked my woke soul yet, so I’ll continue to enjoy the holiday until I decide it’s non-Kosher.

Hopefully you’re down for an old man to rant a bit, I enjoyed writing it two weeks ago. I’m going to start doing it more often, so expect more to come. So here’s a list of gripes, some soccer-related, some not. Enjoy. Happy belated Thanksgiving.

Fans see the world differently than clubs. - For a lot of fans, we see the soccer world in black and white. MLS and USL are the devil while UPSL and NPSL are the bastions of the true amateurs. When the NPSL came knocking the GCPL four, they jumped at the chance to join the national league. Some of us (maybe this guy) cried cannibalization, but the clubs involved saw it as a chance to head to greener pastures. The reality is, clubs don’t see it the same way fans do. Look at the crossover of clubs from the NPSL to USL League 2. Look at local soccer club owners buddying up with USL leadership. The world is more complicated than we think it is and our simplistic takes as fans are unrealistic.
Cranberry sauce from a can is nasty. - I don’t know why we think it’s good. It’s not. Why not just have fresh cranberries on the table if you want that taste? Instead you’ve got a quivering mass of jelly that’s flavored to taste like cranberries. At my family’s Thanksgiving meal, 90% went in the trash. Where it belongs.
Pumpkin pie should be a year around thing. - Seriously, this is my favorite pie. It’s earthy, it’s not too sweet (I’ve never been a fan of adding whip cream), it’s actually a tasty vegetable, and it’s still a desert. Apparently pumpkin pie is distinctly American, so much so that when my parents travelled to New Zealand, people had no idea (this was 20 years ago, maybe it’s different now) that pumpkin could be a desert. It can be, and it’s delicious! The Kiwis were disgusted by the thought of pumpkin baked into a pie and had to be tricked into tasting it. Culture is a funny thing, I guess. One man’s pie is another’s vegetable bread bowl.
But circling back to my bullet point, why limit this delicious pie to Thanksgiving? Why not have it in July with your fireworks? Or maybe during your New Year’s celebration? It’s delicious so eat it! YEAR AROUND!
I don’t understand how NISA will function without more West Coast clubs. - All of the new clubs are on the East Coast portion of the league, including the yet-to-be-named clubs that are currently just city names. 9 clubs on the East side, 4 on the West. Seems to be a space in Las Vegas, maybe a couple or three up the West coast into Oregon and Washington. Even Phoenix (though it’s so disgustingly hot in Phoenix, I can’t fathom trying to play soccer there, but clearly they do). The league still has time, but they need more clubs to even the map out, and they need them now.
Getting older is odd. - We all live in our own heads, but I am more and more aware of that the older I get. My reality is shaped by everything I think and everything I’ve experienced. By definition, that means your reality is entirely different, so different I can’t even imagine how you see the world. So when you read all these words, you are filtering them through your own understanding of reality. And even trying to think about that makes me a little dizzy. Yeah, shouldn’t think too much. Getting older can’t be helped.
Kamala Harris dropped out of the race and Twitter taught me something in the process. - So if you don’t vote on the left side of the political spectrum, maybe this will piss you off (me mentioning it, not her dropping out), but I saw a tweet that pointed out something solid. “If all of you crying about Kamala leaving the race had backed her up, she wouldn’t be dropping out of the race.” Regardless of your politics, this is an awesome point, true in everything we do. If you believe in something, you need to show it with actions. You need to back it with cash. You need to show up. True of Senator Harris’ campaign, true of your chosen religion, true of lower league soccer. If you really want something to exist, you need to SHOW it.
Kids are smart. - When my daughter was born, for the first year, I described her as a potato. She just lay there, ate, pooped, slept, cried, giggled, but didn’t add much in the way of thought or conversation. She’s three now and she has the most interesting world view, it’s awesome. She has become incredibly afraid of Alexa (that Amazon robot thing) to the point that she doesn’t like to walk past it alone, for fear it will talk to her. That’s amazing! She has picked up on the inherent dangers of that type of technology without anyone guiding her into the philosophical discussions about privacy and technology. She just knows she doesn’t like that talking box on the shelf, regardless of her lack of experience with it, so she avoids it. Maybe we should learn from her or maybe she’s just a kid afraid of a robot.
Just this evening she was watching a kid’s show about germs and immediately went and washed her hands. Eventually I had to change it because she found the concept too threatening. And maybe that’s the limit to how smart a kid should be - a little knowledge is good, by maybe a kid’s intuition doesn’t need the whole story just yet. Kids are cool, but we all need some backup from a parent every now and then.
Bribing pundits with gear is smart. - I used to get really bothered by this, mostly out of jealousy. I would watch lower league clubs sending kits and t-shirts to famous people, desperate for a shout out. But now I think it makes sense. You need that sort of exposure and if you can buy it with a kit that cost your $35 to make, why not? I mentioned all this because I spotted the Rogues peddled their kits for a shout out. So kudos to Providence City sending a couple of their shark kits to the Cooligans. Good press, really smart. Hell, I’m talking about it and I didn’t get a kit!
The next three weeks suck. - First of all, for most of the country, this is shitty weather season. Add to all that shitty weather the most travel every year. Intensify that travel by caking on gift expectations, family conversations (“so what do you think about impeachment?”), ridiculous amounts of cooking. It’s a hellish equation. And god have mercy on your soul if you work in retail.
Megan Rapinoe won the Ballon d’Or and people are pissed. - Yeah, Messi won his sixth also, but only Ronaldo and Liverpool fans are angry about that. Rapinoe won on the strength of her World Cup performance, for sure, as she only played 6 matches for her club team all year. But the person we should thank for Rapinoe’s win (aside from the purple haired goddess herself, of course) is Donald Trump. Had he not singled her out and attacked her via twitter, I am doubtful she would have won. Everyone wants a chance to shoot the finger at Trump and the voters took their shot. Side note, funny that Lucy Bronze came in second in the voting, no? Maybe I’m the only one that thought that was a funny coincidence.

BONUS GRIPE: That USL Tulsa rebrand is hot garbage. It’s a straight up rip off of two logos, LAFC and OKCFC and it bothers me. If LAFC made art deco hot, are we in for more of these knock offs? I pray to jesus no. And watching people fawn over it is depressing. Makes me feel old. And grumpy.

That’s it for now. Plenty to grump about later. ‘nuff said.

- Dan Vaughn

Next week I’d like to do a reader submission OMYAS. If you have something you’d like my take on, soccer or not, send me an email at OldPeopleoftheworldunite@gmail.com.