Hey there – fellow Knight John back for another speculative NISA piece. Keep in mind that it’s all in good fun. Hope you enjoy.

If you are as staunch a follower of NISA expansion as Dan and I – the Knights Who Say NISA – then you may have noticed that all of the new teams coming on board seem to be located on the eastern half of the country. What about locations west of the Mississippi? Sure, there are four clubs huddled – sorry, clustered – in California, but nothing between them and Detroit City. Well, except the big NISA logo that they insist on planting smack dab in the middle of the map of the United States on the league’s website. (Hmmm…maybe that’s the problem…)

Well, Dan and I decided that something needed to be done. We agreed to sit down and put together some ideas of markets where NISA should consider when looking to add clubs. And when Dan got up to take a potty break, I went to work. (How that chair got lodged in between the floor and the door handle I’ll never know.)

Now if we’re playing by NISA’s ‘rules’ we have to cluster clubs together, not just throw teams hither and yon. Heartily accepting the challenge, here’s where I think the league should go when going west:

Market #1: Chicago

Wait just a minute – why would you want to have new third division clubs in a market where the Chicago Fire have done such a great job in capturing the region’s soccer fans?

Yeah, exactly.

As the Fire have smoldered away, Chicago is beyond ready for more professional clubs. Some would argue that the city could use one professional soccer club right now, but that would be too cruel. Sort of. Anyway, since NISA is now home of the New York Cosmos, I think it would be nice to bring back another soccer team name from the past. No, not the Sting. Further back. While Fall River Marksmen and Bethlehem Steel were creating history nearly a century ago, Chicago Sparta ABA was becoming a powerhouse in the Midwest with a stadium of their own. Won championships. Hosted international exhibitions. And as far as I can tell, the moniker is not currently being used. So why not draw on some real soccer history in the region and bring back Chicago Sparta?

For our instant rival to Sparta, we’re going to take a musical journey. In the late 1960s a group of seven musical lads from Chicago sought out their fame and fortune. By 1977, the band Chicago had become a hit-making machine. The album released that year would feature a map of the city on the cover. And so, with apologies to the club currently playing in Indiana, I give you the name of that album and your new club: Chicago XI. Imagine a supporters group named after guitarist Terry Kath. A horn section playing along with the chanting fans. Baby, what a big surprise that would be.

Market #2: Denver

Oh - surely you’re not going to go up against the mighty Rapids now, too.

Oh surely we are.

If there is an MLS club that has needed a good ol’ relegatin’, it’s the Colorado Rapids. The question is: if you could drop the Rapids into the USL, would the investor-operator even notice? But I digress. Another club name that needs to be brought back is the Colorado Foxes. For you young people out there, there was a hip and happening soccer league back in the 1990s called the APSL, the American Professional Soccer League. And the Foxes were league winners for two years. A fella by the name of Marcelo Balboa played on the club. Eventually the league called itself the A-League, merged with the USISL (the USL as we know them now), and the Foxes would fade away. Bring back the Foxes, and maybe even partner up with Leicester City. Foxy!

And for the Foxes’ clusterbuddy, let’s have a bit of fun and get the munchies along the way. I can’t think of a better club name that embraces the region (and is pun-riffic) than Four & Twenty Blackbirds. Oh c’mon, just picture a crest that has a blackbird with a doobie resting in its beak? How would you not want this? Listen, I understand that there could be issues with having a club name that, well, more than hints at drug use, but if you don’t think the day that kit is released it isn’t flying off the shelves…

Market #3: Montana

OK, now you’re just being silly.

Sure, there may be bigger markets to plant a flag. OK – there may be MANY other markets that are bigger. But sometimes you have to zig when others say zag. Maybe the lack of professional soccer clubs in this region could spark an interest. Did anyone expect New Mexico United to draw over 10,000 a game in its inaugural season last year?

So let’s go clustering in Big Sky Country. I’m going to eschew Billings, Great Falls, Missoula and Bozeman for now. No disrespect to these fine communities, but I think I’ve got the perfect pairing. Say hello to your newest soccer rivalry: Real Butte and Helena Handbasket FC.

OK – perhaps I am being a little silly.

Welp, I think Dan is about to break through the door, so I should end it here. We’ll be watching and waiting for the next clubs to join the NISA fraternity with curiosity.